Why would you do this?
I’m sorry – I don’t understand the question.
Aren’t you just ruining it for everyone?
Certainly not. Have you seen the length of that damn book? I mean, it goes on for ages, what with Harry’s scar burning and all those tediously worked out plot twists and Burty Bott’s Magic Froom Juice, or whatever. Really, we’re doing people a favour.
What’s your problem?
Oh, that’s complicated.
Are you trying to make a quick buck?
Nothing could be further from the truth. We only hope to make the world a better, more amusing place.
Can I buy more than one t-shirt?
Why of course! Anxious muggles all over the world are crying out for help.
Would a t-shirt make a good present?
Hadn’t thought about it – but yes, I suppose it would. Good idea!
Where should mail be addressed?
Address mail to Box 3433, Made Up Street, Old London Town, SE2 2A1. Alternatively, sprinkle floo powder and shout “I’m An Idiot” at the mirror.
Where should I wear my t-shirt?
Anywhere there are muggles. Although, we think the train network and school crossings would be excellent place to start. A quick stroll through Hamley’s wouldn’t go amiss either.
How can I buy my t-shirt?
Well, unless you have an account at Gringotts Wizarding Bank, or use their convenient telephone banking service, I’m afraid you’ve got to use Paypal.
Are payments secure?
Yes indeed! Payments handled through Paypal’s secure server are protected by Death Eaters and WingleWobbles. Also, a wise wizard cast a spell that meant all information transmitted through Paypal was completely confidential.
Do I need a paypal account to buy a t-shirt?
No no no! Paypal also accepts credit card payments and, if arranged in advance, Fringle Frumble Froos. But you need to have your Fringle Frumble Froo account details to hand.
How long will my t-shirt take to arrive?
We’re hoping to get them out to you super duper quick to ensure the good work begins as soon as poss. A couple of weeks at the latest?
Do you deliver worldwide?
Why of course we do. We have branches across the muggle and wizarding realm.
If I have a problem can I get a refund?
Yes, providing the t-shirt hasn’t been worn. Just post it back to us and we’ll refund the money. But why would you want to do that?